Monday, February 15, 2010

Get off my lawn, goddarnit...

I suddenly realised I'm a cranky old man because all these things annoy me...

1. The leaf blower guy next door who has a two square metre concrete box to leaf blow. Somehow, this leaf blower sounds like a 747 landing and when he runs out of leaves, he just stands there revving the engine for half an hour.

2. The neighbour directly opposite him likes to wash down his paths AFTER it rains. He's only beaten by the guy next door to him who hoses down his car WHILE it rains.

3. The pan flute buskers. I've seen them in every city around the world but yet wherever they are, they never fail to remind me how much they totally suck. I really needed to hear El Condor Pasa one more time.

4. No thanks to Simon and Garfunkel for making El Condor Pasa famous and making every pan flute player in the world play it endlessly at volumes no ipod can drown out.

5. Hey man, park your car in a clearway during peak hour and make my bus trip blow out from 10-15 minutes to an hour. Thanks dude. I implore the bus driver to stop the bus and let me out so I can key your car but they just won't let me. Why? He's running behind schedule because of you, moron!

I don't know why these things are driving me crazy but they have all tested my patience in the last 24 hours. Maybe giving up chocolate wasn't such a great idea.



PS Australia has officially jumped the shark. This is big news... (sigh)



  1. dude, all makes sense to me. go ahead and violently respond to these malicious injustices. It's what I'd do. Make me proud and say, snap the hose of your neighbour out of his hand, wrap it round his neck, tighten it ever so too much, and remind him of water saving principles. You are surrounded by morons, you must fight back.

  2. The upside is now there is a beautiful and available property for sale in Colyville, Ipswitch... We may have just killed two birds with one stone.