Wednesday, December 30, 2009

iPlod predicts the future

Once again I will be stealing Katie's ideas for a blog entry - essentially predicting my new year with an ipod. Katie has the stately Podley where I have my old faithful iPlod to predict my future. Let's warm it up, ask some burning questions and get some genuine insight delivered courtesy of Steve Jobs' love juice (I don't know what that is).

First up: Rewarding year at work or one step closer to death?
Answer: Better Things - Massive Attack
Subtext: Magic Doors - Portishead
Hey, hey, looks like my work life is going to improve all courtesy of Bristol trip hop. Thanks Massive.

Second question: Am I going to be stuck in Sydney or off for some adventure in the new year?
Answer: Red Rain - Peter Gabriel
Subtext: Still Cold - Mazzy Star
I'm going to take that as a no. Rain outside, a chilly reception etc. But most of all, I should just let you know I love Peter Gabriel and have no shame by having this song (and album) on my ipod.

Thirdly: Is this going to be a better year for the loving?
Answer: Hangin' on a limb - Neil Young
Subtext: On the verge - Le Tigre
While Neil's song sounds negative, it's actually a beautiful song about rekindling love deemed lost. And with Le Tigre saying I'm on the verge of something great, I'll take that as it's going to be a better year.

Fourth: Another year of fat slob or will you find your inner fitness freak?
Answer: Ruffwon - Hermitude
Subtext: Monster in the Parasol - Queens of the Stone Age
Ruffwon is this really amazing instrumental but as it kind of suggests 'Rough One' and Monster in the Parasol is about taking drugs, I figure I'll be a fat slob again.

5. Will the Rabboitohs win this year?
Answer: Headache - Frank Black
Subtext: Can't See - Unsane
Urm, no.

Sixsixsix: Will it be a productive year creatively?
Answer: Classic Noodlanding - Do Make Say Think
Subtext: Get in the Ring - Guns N' Roses
Mixed messages here with DMTS suggesting another year of noodling along where Axl invites me to fight for it. Jury is out on this so we'll see.

Seven: Will 2010 be better than the satan's butthole that was 2009?
Answer: Reason to be Beautiful - Hole
Subtext: 50 Million Year Trip (Downside Up) - Kyuss
Again mixed messages but I figure I'll go with the positive and say it's going to be a reasonable yet beautiful interstellar journey of about 50 million years in length. AWESOME!

Thanks iPlod!


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

In 3's

One of those unfortunate internet things going around which I rather enjoy.

Uncle Jonny

kid idiosyncratic

Mole on my hand
My little belly
My real smile

Old age hair invasion (nose and ears mainly)
Cracking bones
Urm, my perfect hair?!

Stoke City FC
Cups of tea
The Beatles

Conservative politics

Hot shower
Rock action

Rebels vs Empire shirt (NERD!)
Sexy underwear

Queens of the Stone Age
Bob Mould
Neko Case

Dictaphone's Lament - Tycho
Natural One - The Folk Implosion
Bandoliers - Them Crooked Vultures

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
I hate being on holidays
I like being on holidays
What he said...

Good for cuddling
Good dressers (how do you answer this without sounding totally dodgy?)

Buying vinyl
Arguing about music
Reading a good book

Drink juice
Travel the world
Write something witty

English teacher in Cambodia
Pirate of the high seas

China (again)

Damien Omen

Actually write a novel all the way through
Travel to Nepal
Play guitar in a band in front of an audience

I like the Gilmore Girls - that's enough isn't it?

I like football
A little hairy
Urm.. penis?

Fruitshop boy


Mad Men
The Amazing Race

Cinque Terra

Bottle shop

My sister
Nigerian princes

Baked Beans (Heinz BBQ flavour to be exact)
Creme Brulee (Bourke Street Bakery variety)
Mango flavoured yoghurt

Sipping cocktails at a Thai beach resort
Front row at a Them Crooked Vultures concert
My recently purchased mansion (that doesn't exist)

Good people
Good music
Love (why not?)


Monday, December 21, 2009


No matter what you can say about Sylvester Stallone and his career, it's very hard to deny the power of the original Rocky movie. It's the classic story of an unknown actor fighting to star in his own film which was resisted at every level. Then it comes out, people go berserk for it and it wins a bunch of Oscars. It is chock full of iconic scenes which have become a pervasive part of our cultural fabric.

ANYHOW, I mention this because I went to see a friend of mine who works at a record store which sells collectable figurines. They had just received a shipment of Rocky figures, so firstly we have Rocky and Adrian but it was this other figure that I found totally mind blowing.

If you'll recall Paulie lets Rocky practice his boxing on frozen carcasses at the meat packing plant in the docks. Amazingly, you can buy a figurine of the carcass or 'The Meat' as the packet says. I'm not sure if anyone finds this strange or not but it's the first time I remember seeing a figurine for an inanimate object from a film before...


Finally, a Christmas miracle I can rally around

Rage Against The Machine beat a reality star singing a Miley Cyrus cover to claim the UK Christmas number 1. Brings a tear to my eye.... seriously.


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Flick this

Someone asked me recently (urm... Katie, the only person who I think reads this blog) whether I had a Flickr site or not and the truth is I have about three of them. I tend to get enthusiastic about photography for a while and then get over it. When I return to my Flickr sites, I can never remember the log in because you have to create a yahoo account (which I never use) and I can never remember the log-in. SO, I have finally set up one more Flickr site which I'll load up some non-blog photos. Most of the photos I've uploaded are one's I had on my old Flickr site from a trip to China last year. But anyhow, you'll find me trying to be arty here... (Fail).

PS: If world leaders are serious about climate change, I think I've found a solution. Just get my idiot neighbour to turn off his Christmas lights. Seriously, the three weeks these lights are on will probably be responsible for the island Tuvalu being underwater by February. I'm not sure how much power he's chewing through to keep this going but it's probably as much as a moderate sized township. Even worse, there is some blow up sculpture of Santa riding a quad bike (!?) with Rudolph on the back in his front yard. The only problem is that every time I walk by it actually looks like Rudolph is coming from the rear... urm, sexually. Then I look closer and see that's it's not but do I have to really spend the next three weeks walking to my house and thinking everyday "is that reindeer fucking Santa?" Stop the madness and save the planet I say.

Update: Santa definitely looks he's ready for something...


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Listomania redux

My friend Katie recently freaked me our about who you stalk online because it's really easy to be busted. I kinda thought that's the only reason the internet was invented but oh well... Anyhow, she listed her favourite songs of 2009 and I thought I'd do the same. The rules are pretty simple, pick songs that you have listened to a lot in 2009 (they do not necessarily have to be released this year though). Katie cleverly put together a mix tape to download but my zipping skills are pretty shit (WHY WON'T YOU WORK, OH ZIP GOD!) so I'll just put short descriptions to give you an idea of what they sound like (I should say that because I go to the gym during the week, my songs are generally dominated by rah-rah boy songs because that's how I roll when I pump iron and stare at myself for hours in the gym mirrors).

1. Guided by Voices: Teenage FBI
Sounds like: the perfect pop song about alienation and how your crush on a girl makes you act like a crazy person. We've all been there.

2.Bob Mould - The Breach
Sounds like: A break up song in two voices - one plaintive and sad: the other saying literally 'I'm sick of your shit, you bloody martyr!' Bad times were had by all.

3. Mclusky - To Hell With Good Intentions
Sounds like: a song so good I named my blog after it.

4. Future of the Left - Arming Eritrea
Sounds like: an awesome Mclusky song (because they kind of are Mclusky).

5. Neko Case - Prison Girls
Sounds like: Southern gothic chic with murderous overtones...

6. Unkle - Restless
Sounds like: Queens of the Stone Age decides to mug Daft Punk in a back alley but decide they really like each other and make sweet love instead.

7. Ludacris - Get Back
Sounds like: I have to thank Tom Cruise for exposing me to this in Tropic Thunder. It's the chorus that gets me everytime.

8. Mogwai - Batcat
Sounds like: You're pursued across a post-apocalyptic wasteland until eventually you are devoured alive by nuclear brain hungry zombies.

9. Fourtet - Unspoken
Sounds like: Rediscovered 9 minute opus which makes you sad but is great for listening to when you're walking.

10. DFA 1979 - Black History Month
Sounds like: A long lost boogie woogie classic...

11. Lily Allen - 22
Sounds like: A song that The Specials should have done but sung by an adorable skank instead.

12. Snow Patrol - Take Back The City
Sounds like: A lame arse pop song by a crap band which I couldn't get out of my head and then through therapy (generally electroshock), I admitted I loved it (I can forgive myself because I like the Reindeer Section).

13. Them Crooked Vultures - Spinning in the Daffodils
Sounds like: Post apocalyptic Bowie through a drone blender. To be honest, it could have been any of the TCV album here.

Having thought about it, I already want to change a few but that'll do for now right...


Saturday, December 5, 2009

List time

It's that time of the year where every dog and his Norwegian grandmother is making yearly and decade lists about the best books, music, movies, typography, episode of Rock of Love - and I'm no different. To think about the best albums of the decade is a little too much to wrap my head around just yet but I thought I'd like to write about my favourite albums of the year.

Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures
Before TCV released any substantial clips of music, they played a number of shows to fans sight, unheard (I listened to the bootlegs). Despite being a position where they played to audiences who hadn't heard a note of the music before the second they saw them live, the same thing happens in every show. Once they get about 30 seconds into Elephants (above), the crowd goes apeshit. Why? because they have being possessed by the unrelenting awesomeness of undiluted rock action. I love rock music and my mancrush on Josh Homme has been well established but nothing prepared me for just how great this album is. Fuck the haters (hello pitchfork), this album was design for playing the air instrument of your choice to when you're not throwing devil horns. Sexy times were had by all.

Neko Case - Middle Cyclone
A beautiful red headed woman belting out inspired country pop - what's not to love? I've always had a soft spot for Neko but this was my album of the year until the release of TCV. It's one of those albums which is somehow timeless but of its time and just exudes that spirit of being produced in a high state of inspiration, clarity, ambition and unrelenting brilliance. I love this album.

Bob Mould - Life and Times
Any year that Bob Mould releases an album is a good year for me. I've been a Bob fan for 20 years and his music has been a constant in my life whether it's been Husker Du, Sugar or solo. Now, that being said, Bob is a an acquired taste and most of my friends kind of go 'huh' when I start on one of my raves about him. This album isn't as good as his last one but it's a solid Bob album (he is yet to surpass the late career benchmark of the Body of Song album).

Future of the Left - Travels With Myself and Another
I was always a fan of Mclusky (this blog is named after one of their songs for example) but since their demise I hadn't really paid much attention to what the band members were up to. Big mistake. FOTL left picks up the psycho-sexual-fucked-up-psychotic-absurdist rantings of Mclusky, polishes them up and takes them to a new dimension hippies. Who couldn't love a song called 'You need Satan more than he needs you'? Who couldn't love a band who hates Margaret Thatcher with a burning passion? Who couldn't love a band as fantastic as this? Answer: only a moron couldn't.

Superchunk - Leaves in the Gutter EP
Superchunk haven't released an album since, like, OMG, forever and pretty much everything post Here's where the strings come in was a bit of a let down (except the underrated Here's to shutting up). I have my theories why this happened. Firstly, the writing company for lead singer Mac is 'All the songs sounds the same music.' The decline in their music coincided with Superchunk not really sounding like Superchunk anymore. Secondly, Mac decided to sing in a higher register which just kind of sucked because he already sung kinda high already. Anyhow, on this ep, Mac is back to his lower voice and these songs (and a vinyl only single Crossed Wires backed by the superior Blinders) is a total vindication of my devotion, love and defense of Superchunk. The song Learned to Surf made me sing out loud when I walk down the street and break into air guitar at inappropriate times - yeah,it's that good.

The Dead Weather - Horehound
Bluesy sexy scuzz rock. Jack rather than Meg on drums and doesn't sing too much. A pretty solid album that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Japandroids - Post Nothing
Despite the guitar/drums set up being a bit tired, this album is all kinds of awesome. Just bare bones rock and even though No Age love Bob Mould better, I think the Japandroids are a better prospect.

Built to Spill - There is no enemy
I'm always amazed when a band can release one of it's best albums twenty years into its career (not many have - Fugazi's The Argument being the obvious one that pops to mind). Built to Spill are other long time favourites of mine but I can't say I've really loved much of their music this decade which makes this album all the more shocking. It is drop dead fucking A grade BTS from go to whoa - no filler - just guitar-crazed-Neil-Youngesque-style-freak-outs like the old days but with great songs to back it up.

Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
Yeah I know I suck but I love my girly pop as much as I love my Slayer. A bit skanky, a bit cute, a bit subversive, say what you want - great tunes.

Various Artists - Dark Was The Night
A compilation album for the Red, Hot and Blue organisation filled with all those indie buzz bands that we're supposed to love. However, this album (especially disc 1) is amazing both in tone and quality. Stand out for me is Bon Iver but there's a lot to discover on this record.

Sarah Blasko: Woman by the Well (for Shoot The Player) from on Vimeo.

Sarah Blasko - As Day Follows Night
More girly pop but darker, sadder and lonelier. A delicate break up album to listen to as the long, empty bitter days drag on.


That's about all I can think of at the moment but I'm sure there's others I might remember (maybe I'll update this if I can be arsed and I'm not sure if I can be bothered writing about Bats for Lashes and the Iron and Wine compilation album). I've challenged some of my friends to come up with a list of their favourite albums for the last ten years. Are you up for the challenge? You have until New Year's eve...


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Reverse psychology...

Plausibly the WEIRDEST sign I have ever seen on a church...


Friday, November 13, 2009

When Twitter gets cute...

Apparently, Britney's twitter account was hacked... or was it?


Wednesday, November 11, 2009


After what can only be described as a crappy few weeks, music saves me again with the release of the Them Crooked Vultures album. As per some of my earlier entries, I have been indulging in PDORA (Public Displays of Rock Action). I've been throwing devil horns and playing air guitar at inappropriate moments in my travels. My workmates find it hilarious. To be honest, the guitar on this album is so good, I'm not sure my extensive air guitar skills can do it justice let alone my real guitar playing skills.

We'll see. After caning Neko Case, Future of the Left and Bob Mould this year, I think I have found my album of the year! I kinda hate emoticons but I'm sure you can work this one out... \m/

Sunday, November 8, 2009


I was feeling industrious last weekend and made my friend a jack o' lantern for Halloween. She likes it so much she's left it to rot in her lounge room. Even though it's probably not clear, the hair growing from his head is, in fact, mould. Awesome.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

random shit

The song, We Walk, by the Ting Tings is in fact, very good for walking to.


David: You kind of look like a communist in that coat.

Jonathan: I am 'kind of' a communist.


I had a post-modern experience where I listened to the first single from Them Crooked Vultures while being on a band forum with a bunch of people around the world. I tipped them off that it was going to be live streamed on tripl j from 6pm but unfortunately, they didn't play it until 6:40pm. That forty minutes was made up of some of the shittiest music I've ever heard - so much so the crowd in the forum turned on me while they impatiently waited. One guy told me to"please die and burn in hell." But he seemed happy when the song came on though. Music fans... geez...


I am taking part in Movember. It's a work thing but in my effort to, urm, make an effort I will be growing a moustache for the next month. I think I'll look pretty stoopid but it's raising money for prostate cancer and men's depression (hello!). So if you have any dosh you wanna sling to the cause, let' me know. My donation page is here. Of course, I'll be charting my progress in the most humiliating way possible...


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A death in the family

This is my 'shit, I've been busted by the pigs' look...

I am sad to announce that my long suffering yet faithful ipod shuffle named guypod is dying. He won't connect to my computer so he will slowly run out of power. As you may or may not know, I proclaimed guypod to be indestructible when I slammed him in a taxi door about ten times. Sadly, his slow death is just a terrible accident. I dropped my back pack on concrete which broke a bottle of deodorant and essentially, guypod drowned in Nivea for Men underarm. As he was in the bottom of my bag, he was a gooey mess by the time I realised what had happened.

At first, I thought he was dead but after a bit of jiggling I got a bit of a static sound of him. Then he started playing music but it kept fading in and out. Now, he sits forlornly on my desk waiting to go to the recycling bin in the sky. Sad. I bought a new shuffle but I'm yet to bond with him or her.

My last thoughts are that while guypod was a faithful friend, at least as he leaves this mortal coil he smells damn good...


I want to share two encounters I had this week that left an impression on me. The first was with a old Chinese taxi driver who was playing air guitar to Howzat! as he drove. This was an awesome feat of dexterity I thought because it's not really an air guitar song and he was still driving with no hands on the wheel.

The other was an old dude standing in the middle of a lane on King Street. Obviously, a bit frail he was in the middle of the street waving his walking stick for a taxi I believed. But as the bus I was in inched around him he started to attack the bus with his the stick, beating the side of it. Not sure if he wanted to bus to stop or die but I thought it was kind of awesome.


Yeah, I know it's been kind of dead around here but you'll be happy to know I've been writing a rom-com in my spare time. I don't think there are enough explosions in romantic comedies so I decided to rectify that.

Hope you're well.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Red Medicine

What's wrong with this picture?

See the sky? That's where Sydney should be. Yep, I woke up this morning, rolled over and there was the apocalypse streaming through my windows.... finally!

Due to some weird high winds and a continent largely made up off grainy red dust, Sydney woke up to these vaguely Armageddeon-esque skies. The thin red dust seemed to coat everything in a fine film - especially the insides of my lungs. Oh well, at least it gave everyone something to talk about today. Here's some more pictures...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Fashion attack

I'm the last person who should be commenting about what people wear but I saw some very special outfits today that I'd like to share.

7:30am Old guy walking down Marrickville Road wearing slippers, pajama shorts, a bright red mickey mouse shirt and a long bath robe covered in teddy bears.

11:23am Anyone who knows the Twilight mythology knows that the vampires in that series do not rip out your jugular or combust in sunlight - they play baseball and twinkle like golden diamonds in the sun. Hence, a group of young girls in Twilight shirts wearing gold glitter all over their face walking out of Town Hall station. You'll regret it later girls...

12:30pm Matching blue and pink 'shit happens' t-shirts on a young couple in Market City but being very transgressive, she wore the blue one and he wore the pink one. Despite this, they both looked pretty stupid.

I'm going down the shop for some milk - can't wait to see what comes next...


Sunday, August 30, 2009

Some things I learnt this week...

1. I hate working Saturdays... I guess I didn't really learn this, I was just reminded of it.

2. I am owed six months back pay (yay!) so I'm contemplating a trip to Northern NSW.. or Macau on the new budget airline Viva Macau Airlines. I have to admit that the name of the airline doesn't scream air safety to me but then I take Sydney Buses everyday - it couldn't be any worse right?

3. I think in my entire life I have never used the word 'rad'... until this week when I was describing the film District 9. I think the words 'awesome' and 'violent' were in that same sentence so it must have really struck a chord with my inner-twelve old.

4. The first new war of the 21st century will not be between aliens and humans but music nerds and hipsters. Apparently, the first salvo in the war was Pitchfork listing their top 500 songs for the 00's... Your move hipsters...

5. I'm having an Almodovar film retrospective and every film so far has made me cry at least once. It's like a Spanish version of the Gilmore Girls or something...

6. After listening to Future of the Left talk about Margaret Thatcher, they are my new heroes. See below...

Dirty Laundry Presents: Future Of The Left from Dirty Laundry on Vimeo.


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

In dreams...

Yesterday I had a dream that Richard Wilkens was reading my tarot cards while riding a slow moving rollercoaster on live TV. Wilkens had a brake to control the speed of the rollercoaster and was working through the deck of the cards telling me what was going to happen in my life. Unfortunately, the brake broke and the rollercoaster started zooming out of control, the tarot cards blew away and Wilkens started screaming hysterically all the while being filmed for television.

The footage of Richard Wilkens losing his shit became a youtube sensation but I was just bummed I didn't find out what my future was.

That's a pretty normal dream right?


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Stand by your manatee

Ok, it's actually a dugong, not a manatee but you know what I mean...


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Interior Design.

Let me tell you about my flat. The kitchen windows look directly onto the walkway where my neighbours pass to get to their abodes. Until last week, all I had up on the window was some fine netting which fortunately for some of my neighbours gave them the ideal insight into my world - ie they'd kind of walk slowly by or just stand there and watch me go about my business. 90% of the time that is me watching TV or reading a book but I finally had enough and got these curtains - plausibly the ugliest fucking curtains in the entire world.

You see, I went to a nearby manchester shop, picked what I thought were some rather innocuous purple curtains and asked them to cut them to size. What I didn't realise was once they were free of their packets they actually had this terrible tie dye effect with the little tassles - so chic! Anyhow, I'd spent the money and I'd prefer to look at ugly curtains than the creepy old guy from flat 4 watch me do the dishes.

I can safely say if you are an interior designer - your job is safe. Ugly, ugly, ugly - yet lovably crappy - just the way I like it.

That said, I have this to look forward to...

Things are looking up...


Friday, August 7, 2009

Marrickville Apocalypse

Heya, it's been a challenging couple of weeks with all sorts of craziness going on. One of the few things I have faith in is my ability to overcome the shit times so I'll resume normal blogging soon - once I get a big work project out of the way (I have to work this weekend - no fun) and get over this eclipse (that's for you astrology fans ho ho). Anyhow here's a few photos from the last couple of weeks...

Weird apocalyptic sunsets over Marrickville...

Late night driving adventures...

Blurry plane, Melbourne airport...

Mac grave yard...

Can you say cheese? Photo for new Blanket article - which should be up soon...


Thursday, July 30, 2009

My new favourite website

I've been busy with, er, life so I haven't much time to blog but I'll be updating properly soon. In the mean time, check out my new favourite website.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ipod face

I think I have explained before that I have two ipods: iplod, my 60gb library on the move for long trips and guypod - the day to day going to the gym shuffle filled with guy music to make me run faster.

These days I mainly use guypod because it just fits into my pocket and is a nice distillation of up tunes to get me through the day (generally punk, rock and metal). However, I have noticed a strange new behaviour that is slowly taking hold over me. It started with gentle head rocking while listening to certain songs. I think that's ok to be in your own little world and bopping along.

But then I started to noticed my head started to go the full on head bang when certain heavy bits of songs would kick in - just one or two but a head bang nonetheless. Fortunately, it looks more like a involuntary head spasm than a cue for me to jump up on my seat on the bus and play air guitar.

But it gets worse: I started making what I would refer to as ipod face where I scrunch up my face (guitar solo style) during some of the heavier rock moments on guypod. These facial contortions probably make me look like I'm having a stroke when I'm on the bus to work each morning but as is the case with public transport, everyone pretends to ignore the crazy person.

This problem reached its apex this morning when walking down King Street, I was listening to this new Superchunk song which I love and during the chorus I started singing... out loud... in the middle of the street. Fortunately, it was peak hour and no one could really hear me but still...

I feel like I'm one step away from walking down the street with a transistor radio to one ear while screaming at young people that aliens run the planet. That being said, I'd much rather risk dementia than have to listen to the dull beat of someone else's ipod or worse, inane mobile phone conversations the morning. Don't these people know I must be alone until at least the first cup of tea or 10am? (whichever comes first).

So if you see a crazy man on public transport, banging his head, singing and playing air guitar to his ipod, it's highly likely to be me. It was bound to happen - just accept it...


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Guitar zero

Strange, I can play real guitar but I'm way too unco to play guitar hero... Hopefully, one day they'll release keytar hero and I'll be able to play that...


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Makes me proud to be Australian...

fail owned pwned pictures

Eddie Maguire strikes again...


Monday, July 13, 2009

The worst band in the world are returning to Australia...

The last time I heard a song by these idiots was by a cover band across the street from the bar I was drinking at in Hong Kong. This was my reaction...

These guys are more of a threat than terrorism, isn't there some kind of immigration policy to stop them? Think of the children... what about the innocent children?


Saturday, July 11, 2009